Arkansas gots yo back.

While I was out at what could easily be called the MOST FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE -GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME- dinner tonight - America voted and here is who they chose.

These bitches made the cut tonight on American Shitshow.


And then something happened YA'LL!!!! KRIS ALLEN MADE IT!
Kris Allen is from a city named Conway. Can you guess where that city is?

ARKANSAS!



Bill, Hillary and I will make sure you at least make it to #2 like Hillary did. ( you might have a debt of about 10 million! ) After that, Kris, we cannot promise shit. You are on your own. Show that charming Arkansas accent, talk about how Conway, AR has a Sonic and you will be golden.

The wine is telling me it's bedtime.

In true American Shitshow fashion - here is the song I am listening to as I get ready for bed - song

American (Un) Idol

I was going to write about the total shit show fuckery that was American Idol tonight but that shit was so boring.

After American Shitshow, I went to my ON DEMAND menu. ( ok, I lied. I poured about 2 glasses of wine and checked my facebook about 5 times and THEN I went to my ON DEMAND menu ) Anyway...

For some reason I decided to watch the other shithow/movie - W.

Jesus Christ. The theme tonight is total fuckery. I thought I might enjoy this movie but I couldn't even finish it. It was like one of those really bad SNL skits that come on around 12:45am.

I guess the big problem I had with the movie were the actors playing the parts.

I could deal with sexy Josh Brolin playing W. ( Even though, the real W. could never be sexy )

What I couldn't deal with was the following:

Elizabeth Banks playing Laura Bush. Watching FRED CLAUS ruined this shit for me. How could a fucking elf be Laura Bush?


The next was Toby Jones playing Karl Rove. How the fuck can you go from playing Truman Capote to this asshole?



And then we have Richard Dreyfuss playing Dick Cheney. Really? REALLY? Mr. Holland Opus playing the biggest dickhead in the world? Not believable - at all.



One of my favorite actresses Ellen Burstyn playing the big cocked Barbara Bush - bullshit. You know Ellen has to be hard up for a role to play to be in this movie. I mean, the only thing she had even close to Laura Bush was that white hair and the pearls. Ellen should stick to shit like Requiem for a Dream.


The part that really had me screaming in my pajamas was Condelezza Rice. HOLD THE FUCK ON - That's Thandie Newton????!!! I loved her in CRASH and now she did this horrible SNL -ish over the top Rice? I cringed everytime she opened her mouth.


Sigh. I couldn't finish this movie. I really REALLY wanted to finish it but the wine wouldn't let me.

** Dance break ** I am listening to JAI HO.

Ok, I'm back. Anyway, I couldn't finish that shit.
But I have a bigger problem.

Is Adam Lambert a bottom?

Serious Blog Post, Drinks and Best Friends

I just realized that I don't have a "serious" post on this blog. Some will argue that I am not a "serious" or "sewious" person - But that's not entirely true. There is a big part about me that is "serious".

It was an interesing day at work to say the least. There were plans of going out for Mardi Gras but those were sacked and as I left work at 7pm ( Thanks Kanye ) I texted my roommate Matt. For those of you out there who don't know who Matt is - he is my roommate but also - what I consider my best friend. We both are from Little Rock and have known each other for about 12 years. He has spent Christmas with me and my family back in Arkansas and knows them well.

Things between us have lately have been rocky. We have been through a lot. Good friends always go through a lot. But lately - there has been a major disconnect. I won't go into details - that isn't fair to Matthew. But let's just say that tonight was meant to be.

We went to dinner and fate put us next to two ladies who would help open up the conversation between us. It was one of those New York City moments. Little did I know that at the end of the conversation with these two ladies that one of them would be Marvelyn Brown. Check her story - Marveyln Brown

After dinner Matt and I headed out for a couple more drinks at a bar named Barrage. After laughing and both agreeing that the guy next to us was "tiny" and that this bar needed an overdue makeover - we filled out these.

Matt's =


"Tell me why I should call you - Because I'm a great guy with a big cock! J/k! No seriously, I am fun, smart and I think we will have a great time!"

Michael's =

"Tell me why I should call you - b/c if you don't the next time I c u out, I'll talk shit about you to everyone in the room."

I'm glad this night happened.

And somehow - the night ended with Matt taking these pics of me.





Again, I'm glad this night happened.

Today's Afternoon Snack

My afternoon snack at around 3pm at work today.

4 piece chicken nugget and tall Starbucks coffee.

Cue the lectures about this not being a healthy choice etc etc.

Oscars, gays and Sean Penn

I enjoyed the Oscar's last night. Yes, at times it felt like the Tony awards but for someone who loves Musicals - that isn't so bad!

The 1st highlight of the evening was when screenwriter Dustin Lance Black ( my future husband ) won for Best Original Screenplay for MILK. His speech was amazing. He went on to say -

"Most of all, if Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he'd want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told they are less than by their churches, or by the government, or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value. And that no matter what everyone tells you, God does love you, and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally across this great nation of ours."

Very touching.

The 2nd highlight of my evening was when Sean Penn won for Best Actor for his portrayal of Harvey Milk. I know a lot of people thought Mickey Rourke deserved this but so did Sean Penn. Penn took the time in his speech to say a little something about the protests that were happening outside the Oscars. The nutjobs from Westboro Baptist church were behind all of that. Those are the disgusting pictures above.( photos from Snapshotboy from Flickr )

Live Blogging the Oscars!

Hey Friends!

I will be part of the live blogging team blogging the Oscars tonight starting around 7pm - Eastern on http://academy-awards.scandalist.com/

Check it out and Comment and enjoy!

Dogs and the POWER of Facebook!!!

I love dogs.

There are times when I wish I had one - but I don't think I am at the right spot in my life where I can take care of one the way I want too.

But - I love dogs.

Which brings me to the Westminster Dog Show. A new best in show was crowned last night and the winner is.........


STUMP! STUMP THE SUSSEX SPANIEL!!!

I didn't watch the show ( hell, I didn't even know it was on until this morning when I got to work and I heard people talking about it )

Stump has to be the most adorable dog. He is 10 years old and just fucking adorable.

Since I am obsessed with Facebook ( and I wanted to do a little experiment ) - I decided to create a fan page for Stump the Sussex Spaniel.

(I apologize to my co-workers who had to hear about this page and Stump the entire day)

I created the page at around 11am and now its 11pm and Stump has 160 fans!!!!!!!

Can you believe that shit? My little fan page on facebook for Stump is getting that many fans!!

I think the best part are the comments that people have posted on the wall for Stump.
One has to think about if they really think that Stump is sitting his ass down in front of his macbook pro and creating his own damn facebook page. I bet they do.

Here are a few comments that I adore that were left on "Stumps" facebook page:

"Congrats. You never know about an older dog and new tricks. You are certainly a handsome pup!"

"We older souls salute you Stump. You're our hero!"

"i knew you would do it, kept your eyes right on the judge as she walked by."

"Excellent job, Stump! Now you can go back into retirement with a wonderful accolade. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"WTG STUMP! Westminster Rocks for recognizing a seasoned professional like you! I LOVE the Senior Sweeties!"

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

"Congrats Stump from your cousin Princess!!"

PRINCESS?!! REALLY? PRINCESS?!! COUSIN?!! REALLY?!!

love it.

* if you care to become a fan of Stump here is how to do it -
type - Stump the Sussex Spaniel in the search box on facebook.

We HATE Hillary! BUY OUR LEATHER!

Here I am trying to relax and get ready for bed when I read a blog and find the clip above.

It's a commerical for a Leather store obviously in Upstate New York.

And obviously they HATE Hillary Clinton.

Blaming her for the lose of jobs while she was "out running for President for an entire year"

Seriously, I am not sure how the fuck this has to do with someone wanting to buy a fucking leather jacket. This douche bag needs to take that fucking tux off and go play in traffic. He even goes as far as ripping up a cardboard cutout. What IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND cardboard cutouts of Hillary?!

HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?

And who the fuck are those girls in the background?!!! why does the girl on the left holding her purse so damn tight? And who the fuck is the peepaw next to her?

Just a couple of things of why this guy is a dumbass:

Dumbass: "When you run for President - you gotta run for a freakin' year?!"

Michael: Fuck yea you do, asshole. The first fucking caucus is in January! and the damn election is in November. So what does that equal? A FUCKING YEAR!


ok, Yes, I understand people have a right to be upset about what they wish but does this dumbass realize that there was another Senator from NY - Chuck Schumer? Why not get on his ass?

It took everything in me not to pick up my cell phone and call this asshole's number and tell him to suck my cock.

I bet you this jerk does another commercial from the parking lot of his store ( when that shit closes ) blaming Obama for not fixing the economy fast enough.

* excuse my nasty mouth - this pissed me off and I had a glass of wine and sang Evita show tunes at a piano bar tonight.